History?

Even now many men believe that it's all right for them to behave as they like as long as they are not found out, which they don't accept in their partner.This male viewpoint, though not held by all men, is heavily influenced by the society which have been for many centuries. In the past, society judged women caught in adultery far more harshly than they judged men indulging in the same extramarital activity.Throughout history male adulterers have been viewed and treated differently to female adulterers.In olden times,for example,women were stoned to death for such an act,but there was no such punishment for men caught in the same.

Until the nineteenth century adultery was a commonplace for the man, particularly in the arranged marriages of the upper classes,which was not acceptable in women.There are many examples among the kings and princes of many empires right up to the beginning of this century.In fact,the current Prince of Wales is the first to have his affair unacceptable. Not only was he criticised for his affair with his partner but he has also been divorced for it.
                     Adultery by a woman was not acceptable.If she was discreet and got away with it, that was one thing, but discovery and exposure meant a fall from grace. She would often be divorced and denied access to her children and, if this happened, it was almost impossible for her to be accepted in society again.Adultery by women was seen as a sexual behaviour. She was seen as morally pure and her role was to maintain her home as a heaven for her husband and children.If a woman behaved wantonly by having an affair, it had very serious social consequences.She was then seen as irresponsible and was not fit to look after her home,husband and children.Her position as a wife and mother was called into question and her social position as a married woman was threatened.
                   For a man, infidelity was seen as the indulgence of natural urges, sexual lapses were regarded as regrettable but unavoidable. For a woman in the family, infidelity was seen as a betrayal of her father, her husband, and her family. It was also a common belief in the society that sexual enjoyment was different for men and women. It was thought that women's sexual pleasure was much more limited than men's. Majority of women are not very much troubled with sexual feelings of any kind. The divorce courts show, there are some few women who have sexual desires so strong they surpass those of men . . . there can be no doubt that sexual feeling in the female is in the majority of cases in abeyance . . . and even if aroused, which in many instances it never can be is very moderate compared with that of the male. One way in which sexual behaviour in women outside marriage was controlled by portraying it as a form of medical abnormality. Behaviour that was seen as normal and healthy in men was seen as a form of madness in women. For men who were inexperienced or indifferent lovers, who were only aware of how to take pleasure and knew little about giving it, it is not surprising that their wives should seem sexually unaware and unresponsive. Women were less aware of their own sexual potential and there was no open discussion of sex, as marriages were often more about convenience than romance, in many cases the vital sexual chemistry never existed in the first place.
                   Sex was the price women paid for marriage and marriage was the price men paid for sex. Nowadays nearly every women's magazine advises on how to satisfy a woman, and discusses the joys of the multiple orgasm. Another key reason why man set a high store on his wife's fidelity was because an adulteress could be carrying another man's child. So his inheritance was at stake but deprive a man's children of their rightful inheritance. A wife might without any loss of caste, and possibly without reference to the interests of her children or even her husband, could do an act of adultery on the part of the husband, but a husband could not do a similar act on the part of his wife. The adultery of the wife might be the means of palming spurious offspring upon the husband, while adultery of the husband would have no such effect.
Many women do not know whether the child they are carrying is their husband's or their lover's, and most choose not to tell their husbands.

                        Men and women were treated differently when it came to adultery and divorce. Many acts permitted husbands to divorce their wives on the grounds of adultery alone. For wives, there was no such equality. For them adultery on its own was not sufficient for a woman to divorce her husband. She had to prove that there were additional reasons such as incest, or bestiality. In the twentieth century, attitudes towards women and adultery eventually started to change. There was significant change in the role of men and women. In wartime many couples had married in haste because the man wanted to have a woman back home, someone of his own to love him and be loved by. They could share their dreams and plan how their lives would be when the war was over.There was also the fear that if they did not marry, one of them might be killed and they would miss their chance for ever. But many of these hasty marriages ended in divorce when the war was over. In the peacetime they frequently realised that they had little in common. Many men on returning home discovered that the woman they had left behind had an affair with someone else. During the time of the war women had the freedom to work for a living and at last had some financial independence, from which they began to have more power in relationships. Along with their developing ideas about what they wanted in marriage and in the workplace, they were also becoming far less sexually ignorant. They realised their sexual potential within marriage and, were more aware of its existence, when it came to affairs they would start to catch up with Men.

Read about the real story
Why do people expect Faithfulness after marriage
Changing needs of affairs in marriage
The Other Woman-Myth or Reality

When is an affair an Affair ?