The Other Woman � Myth or Reality?

Be it in TV serials or in real life, extra-marital affairs are becoming a way of life. As the debate rages as to whether extra-marital affairs should be the accepted norm, we take a look into what the people involved have to say 

Extra-marital affairs, the term itself arouses intrigue in some and anger in some others.Yet, if caught up in such a situation, when it revolves around one�s own family, the experience can be quite harrowing. Meeta Saxena, a 42-year-old housewife recounts the painful memory of discovering her husband�s illicit love affair. �I was shattered when I realised that my husband was seeing some girl half his age. What shook me was that after twelve years of our relationship and two children, he easily discounted the trust that we had shared. Thankfully, he saw sense soon and I reconciled to this truth for the sake of our children. I know, I can never place my full faith in him ever again,� mutters a despondent Ms Saxena.

Whatever be the reason for Mr Saxena�s straying steps, it remains that extra-marital affairs are slowly, but steadily, finding a way into the psyche of the average Indian. �I don�t find anything wrong with extra-marital relations.I would go in for one if I�m not satisfied with my wife and the opportunity presents itself,� says George Paul, a third year student of Mumbai University. Like George, his friends in college feel the same. Says Jeniffer:- �My parents are against my marriage with the boy I love. Even if they marry me off to someone of their choice, I�d continue my relations with this boy. I don�t think it�s morally wrong.� 

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Not that extra-marital affairs are a relatively new phenomenon in India. From the Raas Leela of Radha-Krishna to the colourful maharajas of India�s historical lineage and the recent closeted inter-family affairs, India has seen it all. �In the mythological era, such things were open. Radha, being a married woman wooed Krishna with her sensuality and we look up to them as Gods today. The fact is that Indian women have been and are very sensuous, but in a subtle form. I�m not surprised then, that more and more women are looking outside their home for emotional and physical appeasement,�

Unlike yesteryears, extra-marital affairs, till recently, were hushed up, and swept under the carpet or whatever else was available, with the result that they sound very new and ultra-modern to all ears. �I agree that such instances are growing by leaps and bounds today, but I feel that it has a lot to do with the opening up of society.The freedom of expression and of course the fact that women are finally awake to their rights, has a tremendous role in bringing this feature of society out in the open,�

�And not that it�s just the male species which are indulging themselves, I have personally counselled so many cases where women are involved in a relationship of this nature, it might be just a case of emotional dependency or even physical attraction. But, essentially, it can be any one of the partners seeking change outside the home,� remarks Dr.Michael John professor of Psychology at the Manchester University.

The fact that more and more Indian women are going in for higher education, moving outside the confines of their homes, increasing their horizons and thus having increased interaction with the opposite sex is a major catalyst in the so called boom in extra-marital affairs.