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He
Said/She Said
By Romeo and Juliet of tamilstar.com
You're
here and your boopie is waaay over there. So how do you keep a long
distance relationship going? Not to mention that they're starting
to act a damn fool. Read what our Lailla
and Majnu says |
I
am in love with a man who's 12 years younger than me. I was reluctant
to get involved with him but he came on to me. This is the problem:
Generally, he respects me but is very inconsistent about our relationship.
He only calls me in response to my calls.
There are some complications. We live two hours away from each other
and we both work very long hours and don't see each other often. Despite
this, he expects me to be available at the drop of a hat.
I refuse to sit around waiting for him to call or drop by unannounced.
We recently broke up because of these reasons but I miss him. What
should I do? I don't want him to think he can play me.
Sincerely,
Troubled |
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Romeo
Responds:-
Dear Troubled,
I
can very much understand your plight, but as the saying goes Love
is Blind. Love happens on its own even if you are reluctant if it
has to happen it will happen. I think you need to sit with your friend
and clarify because as you say he respects you and is also inconsistent
about your relationship. It seems that he is not as much concerned
as you are and maybe not in love but just a physical attraction. Staying
away is not at all a problem as today there are various ways of communicating.
Infact you
could be in touch with each other so constant as if you were staying
together. (Instant messenger services, chatting, telephone, email).
He is calling you when he needs you and is not bothered about your
thoughts and needs, hence give a deep thought to it that does he really
loves you. Even after he broke up with you is really bothered why
all this happened.
Since you have
already broken up either you should sit tight and wait for him to
call and when he does you should talk with him about all this and
if you want you could send me him a mail or a card mentioning how
you miss him but �� My advice to you would be that have a very frank
talk with him as he must not be in love with you as you are with him.
You could be quite good friends if this issue would be clarified.
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Juliet
Responds:-
Hi,
After
reading to your problem - it seems that he (boy) fell in love with
you, so wanted to go out for a relationship with you, but due to age
gap or difference initially u were quite reluctant to go into a relationship
with him. But certain circumstances made you (girl) fall in love with
him(boy). As said by you (girl) you both are working (Even this can
be a matter of worry) - Due to work load you both can't meet each
other. So he started avoiding calling you.
As you people are less exposed to each other, u people are not getting
exposed to express ur feelings towards each other, which is creating
sourness in ur relationship. I would suggest u both to go on weekends
to a far off place were no work or any sort of tension will affect
you both. And the reasons for that he want you at any moment of time
may be, because when he is free you are not free & when you are free
he is not free. But due to youur understanding nature you always adjust
your schedule when he wants you, but when you must be calling he (even
if he will's ) he must be facing problems to come out to meet you.
So
don't take it to your heart. Working lovers always have to face this
problems. But by refusing to or keeping grudge against him will not
work to keep up your relationship. Even if you have broke up you there
are still chances to get back try to call him out as said before (week
ends) and talk it out. He is not playing with you but can't help it
due to his busy work schedule. Do understand dear...... |
| My
boyfriend and I are in our late 20s have been dating for two years.
We haven't discussed marriage, although I think it's on both of our
minds. How can I broach the subject without pressuring him? |
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Romeo
Responds:-
Hello Ms. To Mrs.
This is a very interesting transition as it comes in the lives of
many couples who have started their love life. There are quite a few
ways to convey what you want to depending upon the nature of your
boyfriend.
(a) Be frank and clarify in the beginning only that you are
not in any hurry but what are his views on marriage.
( b) Ask him what is the right age to become a father in today's
world?
The first option is heart to heart and the second
will be enough to raise the topic for both of you to go in a discussion
and then take a decision jointly. Incase you are not successful with
the above two then please do let me know at [email protected]
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Juliet
Responds:-
Hi,
If you are emotionally
not secure, then just start it by just talking about friends who are
married (known to both) and then ask him (in a way of proposing) will
you marry me (Jokingly) and see the answer is right in front of you
without any tension slowly then you can start telling him how much
interested you are in marrying him. This also may create a sense of
emotional security for both. Try it. |
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